Fly the friendly skies ...

[Hawkmoon]

United wants travelers to know that they practice social distancing on their flights ... unless they can sell all the seats.

https://nypost.com/2020/05/10/doctor-who-volunteered-at-hospital-blasts-united-for-packed-flight/

The airline responded to the frontline workers’ complaints in a statement, saying it can no longer guarantee all customers will be booked next to an empty seat.

“Last month, we began limiting advanced seat selection for adjacent seats in all cabins, including middle seats where available and alternating window and aisle seats when seats are in pairs,” the company said in a statement to ABC7.

“Though we cannot guarantee that all customers will be seated next to an unoccupied seat, based on historically low travel demand and the implementation of our various social distancing measures that is the likely outcome.”

Why not? It's very simple -- just don't sell that many tickets. If more people show up than you have non-middle seats for, handle just like over-booked flights have always been handled -- people get bumped, in accordance with established bumping protocols.

[Brad Johnson]

And if you don't do what they say, they will send in the Chicago Police to beat you and drag you off the plane.

Brad

[Hawkmoon]

Do the Chicago Police practice social distancing while beating you?

[HankB]

Do the Chicago Police practice social distancing while beating you?

Sure - they've switched from billy clubs to quarterstaffs.

[just Warren]

Sure - they've switched from billy clubs to quarterstaffs.

They're actually buck-and-a-quarter staffs, but this being Chicago the extra bucks have gone missing.