Author Topic: The pinecone incident  (Read 1399 times)

AmbulanceDriver

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The pinecone incident
« on: July 22, 2020, 08:59:01 PM »
Read this on Reddit and thought you guys might enjoy this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3xugpf/military_redditors_when_you_were_in_boot_camp/cy8bedt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

I posted this about a year ago, hope it still holds up.

Ah, yes, "The Pine Cone Incident."

So, I was at Basic in Fort Benning, and we were zero'ing our weapons as a company. Zero'ing a weapon is when you ensure it shoots where you want it to by shooting a paper target repeatedly. Sounds easy enough. Now, I am a terrible shot. I know this. Everyone knows this. However, I get even worse when I'm being screamed at. I spent hours on the line until, finally, there were only four of us cats who hadn't gotten a "go" in the whole company. We had three more hours of range time, and if we failed to zero, we'd be "recycled."

"Recycled" entails having to revert to another company earlier along in Basic Training. So, not only do you lose your buddies, but you catch a couple extra weeks of training with a unit that knows you're a shitbird of some sort. So, a fate worse than death.

After another unsuccessful grouping, my drill sergeant, without a word, picked me up from the prone position and stood me up. He looked at me and said "Go find me a pine cone." Confused, I took four steps, scooped up a pine cone and took it back to him. I presented him my findings, and he responded "Private, that's not my pine cone, go find me my *expletive deleted*ing pine cone!"

Keep in mind, this is a forest in Georgia, there's a metric *expletive deleted*it ton of pine cones. So I jog off and work on my "mission." This entire time, my DS is shooting all my rounds off, genuinely enjoying himself. Every pine cone I bring to him is not his pine cone. This continued for about 15 minutes while the rest of the company, sitting in a clearing eating MREs, cheered me on.

Finally, I breathlessly run up and hand him another pine cone, about to jog off to grab another. He looks at me, then the pine cone, then me. .... "STEVE!" he yells "You found Steve, private!"

I *expletive deleted*it you not, I had never been more relieved in my entire life, until his face scrunched into a grimace.

"Wait, private, where's his family? ... WHO THE *expletive deleted*ck TAKES A PINE CONE AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY!?"

So, terrified, I spend around half an hour scavenging for appropriate sized pine cones, while he fires maniacally. Eventually, I hunt down his "wife" and his two "kids." (At one point I brought "Steve's estranged son, Dennis", and I needed to do push-ups for causing Steve "emotional duress.")

Anyway he lets me fire (after I prop up the family to "cheer me on"), I go prone, and I zero on the first iteration. He picks me up again, cracks the only smile I ever saw from him, and says "It was all in your head, you dumb *expletive deleted*ck. Good job. Now go do push-ups till I'm tired." He also had me write my congressman later that day to apologize for wasting taxpayer money on bullets.

Fort Benning, never again.

TL;DR A pine cone saved my military career. And *expletive deleted*ck Dennis"
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230RN

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2020, 09:22:57 PM »
It's not a lot of times, but at least four or five I've had to advise someone not to adjust his sights after each single shot.  "You'll be chasing a zero all day long doing it that way.  Take at least a three shot group, no matter how bad it is, and adjust for the group, not the single shot."

Nowadays there may be more rifles (or handguns) that are accurate enough to do sight-fiddling with a one shot "group" than there were back then.

This seemed to happen more with someone spotting the shots with a telescope.

"That was high and left."

Shooter adjusts sights.

"That was low and right."

But of course.

Terry

Jim147

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2020, 09:25:59 PM »
The problem with a three shot group is that is a distress signal.
Sometimes we carry more weight then we owe.
And sometimes goes on and on and on.

BAH-WEEP-GRAAAGHNAH WHEEP NI-NI BONG

AmbulanceDriver

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2020, 09:59:02 PM »
Appleseed taught me that "once is chance, twice is coincidence.  Three times is skill".   I prefer a 5 round group for sighting.  It gives me a good solid reference, and if I know i flinched, I can call one or two as needed as flyers and still have good data. 
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MechAg94

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2020, 10:34:16 PM »
I usually do at least 3 shots.  One shot might work when you are way out, but when I start to get close it doesn't work so well.  I rarely trust myself enough to assume one shot was right where the rifle was aimed. 

Not to mention there are all sorts of problems that could screw you up like a loose mount or a scope that isn't holding zero.  Shooting a group at least shows you the rifle and sighting system are repeatable. 

“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

230RN

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2020, 04:03:03 AM »
^
MechAg94 pointed out...
Quote
Not to mention there are all sorts of problems that could screw you up like a loose mount or a scope that isn't holding zero.

..or that a barrel walks its shots as it warms up.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2020, 09:25:25 AM by 230RN »

K Frame

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2020, 10:33:13 AM »
Holy hell that's funny!
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French G.

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2020, 02:40:34 PM »
^
MechAg94 pointed out...
..or that a barrel walks its shots as it warms up.

I saved a target from my pencil barrel arisaka that shifted zero if you moved your pinky finger on the fore end. Also heated of course. Three shot groups, huge scope adjustment in between, the angle and spacing of the shots in each group were near exact triangles, just six inches apart.
AKA Navy Joe   

I'm so contrarian that I didn't respond to the thread.

230RN

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2020, 05:26:56 PM »
Holy hell that's funny!

What, that barrels can warp or unwarp when heated up?

I've been tempted for years to get that barrel cryogenically stress-relieved.  I can set it up for first-shot accuracy by letting it cool thoroughly between shots in the group.  Pain in the ass.  But after three quick shots, it starts walking them high and left.  Very repeatable.

Used to be (don't know if it still is*) almost all long gun barrels had to be straightened in a press by a master craftsman by eyeball after boring.  Even gun drills don't necessarily drill straight holes.  It would seem that particular barrel needed a lot of straightening.

Terry

* I guess hammer-forged barrels get stress-relieved from all the pounding and come out as straight as the mandrel.

REF:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_drill

« Last Edit: July 23, 2020, 07:17:01 PM by 230RN »

K Frame

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2020, 07:19:29 AM »
No, Dennis, not that barrels can warp.

Shouldn't you be spending time with the rest of your pinecone family?
Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

230RN

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2020, 08:09:13 AM »
^ WTH?  You trying to communicate something to me personally?  I don't get the Dennis reference in the OP or in your post.


Terry. 230RN


makattak

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2020, 08:48:12 AM »
^ WTH?  You trying to communicate something to me personally?  I don't get the Dennis reference in the OP or in your post.


Terry. 230RN



Allow me to explain. He was talking about the original story being funny, in that he didn't quote you.

You then replied with the misunderstanding that he thought you were the one that was funny.

In response to your confusion, he called you a pinecone for being rather obtuse. ("Dennis" was the pinecone the drill sergeant was looking for.)
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230RN

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2020, 09:00:22 AM »
^

OK, thanks.  Fault both ways, I guess.  Him posting without referent right after mine, and me wondering WTF.  Actually, I didn't think the OP was particularly funny. <rolleyes>

So thanks for the explanation.  I need more ccffee this AM.

Terry

K Frame

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2020, 10:21:08 AM »
Yeah, there's a LOT of WTF, REALLY? going down here, too...  ;/
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zxcvbob

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2020, 12:54:27 PM »
Allow me to explain. He was talking about the original story being funny, in that he didn't quote you.

You then replied with the misunderstanding that he thought you were the one that was funny.

In response to your confusion, he called you a pinecone for being rather obtuse. ("Dennis" was the pinecone the drill sergeant was looking for.)

I thought it was Steve.  Went back and read it again; Dennis was the wrong pinecone (pushups)
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grampster

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2020, 12:56:17 PM »
The Roundtable should be renamed WTF, Really?   :old: :rofl:
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RoadKingLarry

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Re: The pinecone incident
« Reply #16 on: July 24, 2020, 01:10:12 PM »
Pine cone lives matter.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

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