Author Topic: Moving out for the first time  (Read 7774 times)

member1313

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Moving out for the first time
« on: September 13, 2007, 08:52:35 PM »
Hi everyone,

I'm a member at THR and I was told about APS by one of the mods here, and I figured I'd be better off posting this here than anywhere else.

Here goes. I'm a college student. I have little money, and am not really a fan of working while I'm taking classes. I think it's more important to put my education first, so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now. I hope to get a job over the summer, and just save as much as I can, but I still worry about

I'm a psychology major, and I'm honestly hoping to get my bachelor's in two years, then go on and get my Ph.D. and become a college professor. I honestly think that type of job would be perfect for me: I have power, but not even where I would need to worry about becoming an officious jerk, and I would be doing something I like: helping others and talking about a topic I enjoy.

But I honestly question if it's worth it. I mean, I honestly want to be moving out of my mom's house within a few years. I want my own place. I want my privacy. I want to have a stable place I can call my own without fear of judgment from others.

I'm not sure how I could possibly move out with no money while trying to pursue a graduate degree.

So what the hell can I do? How do other people do it? Am I just stuck living at home until I'm almost 30? Or is there something I'm missing?

I'm under the impression many of you are older than I, so I'm hoping for the experience of others to help me out here. And please be kind--I'm new here. Smiley

Monkeyleg

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2007, 10:48:22 PM »
Rob87, you just posted an invitation to a real whuppin'. And I'm the nice guy. Wink

"I have little money, and am not really a fan of working while I'm taking classes."

Well, cut back on the number of classes you're taking so that you can work enough to pay for them.

"I think it's more important to put my education first, so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now."

Really? I hired assistants for nearly minimum-wage level pay who had expensive educations. Your papers can get you only so far. After that, you need to prove yourself.

And, BTW, meaningless jobs are underrated. If I could go back to meaningless delivery jobs, but have the life I did when I was in my 20's, have the life with my wife that I had back then...mister, I'd jump on that chance in a New York minute. Make that a New York second. If you want to trade ages, mister, name your price.

Your life is gravy compared to what's ahead. What's ahead? *expletive deleted*it. Get used to it.

"I'm a psychology major, and I'm honestly hoping to get my bachelor's in two years, then go on and get my Ph.D. and become a college professor."

IOW, you have no desire to contribute to the US Gross Domestic Product.

"But I honestly question if it's worth it. I mean, I honestly want to be moving out of my mom's house within a few years. I want my own place. I want my privacy. I want to have a stable place I can call my own without fear of judgment from others."

Whoooo! That last paragraph is so loaded that I could offend Art's grammaw in three seconds.

You want your own place? Get a job that will pay you enough to afford it. Or move in with a couple of friends and split the rent. It isn't that hard, Rob87. Really, it isn't.

"I'm not sure how I could possibly move out with no money while trying to pursue a graduate degree."

Again, there's that job thing. You can do one part-time and the other part-time.

"So what the hell can I do? How do other people do it? Am I just stuck living at home until I'm almost 30? Or is there something I'm missing?"

Oh, hell, you can be stuck living at home until you're in your fifties or even later.

My wife has three brothers. They range in age from 51 to 40. It wasn't until their father died two years ago that they had to fend for themselves. None of them had ever paid for rent, utilities, food, or anything else that most folks do.

On the day of my father-in-law's funeral, the youngest of the sons said to me, "man, I think I'm going to have to get serious about stuff now."

"Frankie," I said, "you have no idea what you're in for."

He knows it now.  Oh, how he knows it.

Forgive me for being personal, but where do you go with your dates? That was probably the #1 reason for me getting my own apartment. It's a lot easier banging some chick if your mother's not watching.

That's about as hard-ball as I can be, Rob87. I try to be one of the nicest guys here on APS. But every question you've posed tells me that you know the real answers already.

And so I'll bow out, and leave you to the Gladiator Academy. Wink










LadySmith

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2007, 01:59:25 AM »
Rob, get a job. You can't do a darn thing on your own without money. It'll do you good and give you real-world experience. If you get along with your parents, stay home for as long as you can. Go to school with a class schedule that allows you to work and bank your money for a down-payment on a house. A real home. Be aware that others will judge you for the rest of your life, no matter where you go or what you do. At least you can escape from judgement temporarily behind the walls of your own home until you start populating it with other people. Or cats.
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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2007, 02:07:48 AM »
Just a couple points I want to hit (Dick already did a pretty good job)...

>I have little money, and am not really a fan of working while I'm taking classes. I think it's more important to put my education first, so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now<

 My niece spent her college years working her tail off to pay her way, got a few grants and suchlike... and now works for Mc Donalds. Of course, she's in charge of the entire Far East and Africa, but still... Mc Donalds... Wink

 Point being: if you REALLY want it, get a job (or jobs), put the social life on hold, and go for it!


>I want to have a stable place I can call my own without fear of judgment from others<

 You will spend your entire life being judged by others, regardless of what you do. If you go off into the Pacific Northwest, and find a cabin up in grizzly territory where there aren't any people, folks you know now will still be judging you "Wow... wonder why that boy went off to the boonies. Must be a flake". You learn to ignore most of what people say: those worth paying attention to, probably won't actually judge you...

Sindawe

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2007, 04:15:40 AM »
Quote
I'm not sure how I could possibly move out with no money while trying to pursue a graduate degree.

So what the hell can I do? How do other people do it?

They make compromises and stretch.  A friend move quit her good paying job where we worked, moved out of her luxury apartment in the complex we both lived in and moved across the country into student housing while teaching undergrads to get her graduate degree in chemistry .  When I made a career change I continued to work full time in my prior profession, carried a full load of classes and taught on the college level for six months so I could pay for school and keep up with the mortgage payment.

How to move out?  Get a roommate or three.  Another friend spent the first couple of years of his post college working life living in a house with up to six other people.  That way he payed off his debts and accumulated a nice downpayment for a historic home in Nederland, a quaint little town nestled in the Colorado Rockies.

Quote
I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now.

To some degree MOST jobs are meaningless in the end.  My work as a sysadmin and/or data analyst will mean squat to the rest of the world in 50 years, just as your will unless you do and publish ground breaking research.
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Desertdog

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2007, 04:27:00 AM »
Quote
Here goes. I'm a college student. I have little money, and am not really a fan of working while I'm taking classes. I think it's more important to put my education first, so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now.

Put your formal education on hold and join the military for 2-6 years depending what service you join and what you you want to specialize in.

You will not have to pay (with money) for what they teach you, you will grow up, and when you get out the GI Bill can help pay for your psychology education.

Have you ever considered that there is far more psychology major graduates than there are college professor openings?   

Engineering graduates are probably far more in demand than college professors, and so are plumbers, electricians, and appliance repair men.

K Frame

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2007, 04:57:29 AM »
Unless you have pictures of dead presidents, you're going to have problems getting anyone to rent you an apartment, give you power, water, heat, etc.

There's only really two ways to get those dead presidents -- Mom and Dad, or a job.

Of course, you could turn to a life of crime, but the psychological implications of that are, well, crazy... Smiley
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JonnyB

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2007, 05:02:56 AM »
Quote
Here goes. I'm a college student. I have little money, and am not really a fan of working while I'm taking classes. I think it's more important to put my education first, so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now.

Put your formal education on hold and join the military for 2-6 years depending what service you join and what you you want to specialize in.

You will not have to pay (with money) for what they teach you, you will grow up, and when you get out the GI Bill can help pay for your psychology education.

Have you ever considered that there is far more psychology major graduates than there are college professor openings?   

Engineering graduates are probably far more in demand than college professors, and so are plumbers, electricians, and appliance repair men.

A winner!

My sons had the world by the tail (two sons). My wife and I agreed to pay for their schooling after high school, regardless where they went. Both chose technical schools; one for mechanical drafting the second, civil engineering technology. Both went to tech school right after high school. Both partied, drank, raised hell and flunked out.

When son 2 came to his senses a year or so later, he asked about mom & me paying so he could go back to college. Nope; you had your chance and pissed it away. A month later, he asked about us lending him the money ofr college. Nope. Two weeks later: would we co-sign for a loan? Nope. A month passed. "Dad? What do you think about the National Guard? They'll pay most of my tuition." I though it was  agreat idea, except that they'll own you, body and soul.

He got a great education - he's a project manager for a contractor, having a BS in Construction Management. He also spent nearly three years on active duty, 16 months of it in Iraq; Fallujah and Camp TQ. The up-side? Other than a home mortgage, he's debt-free. His wife stays at home with their two kids.

He also worked part-time at McJobs (Pizza Hut) during the school year and at construction jobs in the summer.

Quit crying about your so-called life. Either put up with what you have, or get off your ass to make a change. No-one's going to hand it to you!

jb
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2007, 05:19:12 AM »
I want to have a stable place I can call my own without fear of judgment from others. 

Then what are you doing here?   smiley   Just teasing; glad to have you.
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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2007, 05:41:14 AM »
Desertdog's idea is definitely a good one.  But whether or not you go into the military, you need to get out into the real world and support yourself.  Living with mom doesn't prepare us for the harsh reality that the mortgage company doesn't care whether our boss was an ass and we just had to quit; all they care about is a check appearing on the first of each month.  Living with parents provides too much of a safety net to really actually understand the bare fact of life:  we are responsible for ourselves, and if we can't support ourselves, no one else should have to.

The idea that college should immediately follow high school is brilliant marketing, but ultimately counter-productive.  Most 18-year-olds are not actually mature enough to really appreciate the value of education; this is doubly true of kids whose parents are paying for school.  I know, because I was one.  I spent five semesters wasting my parents' money before the university decided I was better off in a career that involved wearing a paper hat.  They threw me out in 1993.  I got home, and my father sat me down and said, "It's the middle of December.  I understand that you won't be able to find a place between now and the holidays.  So you have until January thirty-first to find a place and get out and support yourself.

At some deep-down visceral level, I didn't believe that he was actually going to make me leave.  But he was, and on January 31, I took the only place I could find; a concrete-floored basement room in a house that had 13 children and 4 other tenants.  It was awful.  But it was mine; I paid for it with my own money, and as soon as I could, I found another place.  It was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Education is the thing you need to pursue.  But not the education that comes from being a student at university.  The most important thing is having the education that comes from supporting yourself and living on your own.  The degrees can (and should) come later, if that's what it takes.

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charby

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2007, 07:15:08 AM »
Rob87

I'm not sure where you live but if you are trying to figure out the costs of living one your own, look at the price of rent per month, add about $150-$200 a month on top of that for utilities. $150 a month for food.

That will get your basics covered.

Then you have to figure clothing, entertainment, car payment, etc.

I lived at home until I was 21, then moved into the dorms on campus when I transferred to a state university (University of Northern Iowa).  Dorms are just as expensive as living in an apartment except you have to share a bathroom with 50 or so other people.

The cheapest living I had in college was living in my fraternity house, rent with everything was $175 a month during the school year and $150 a month in the summer. Of course I had to share a bedroom with another fellow and the sock rule was enforced. So I spent a few nights on the couch in the basement while my roommate was preoccupied with a coed and he did the same when I was.

I was planning on going to a state university close to home (Western Illinois University) and keep living there but I got tired of trying to plan my parents and siblings arrival home with my extracurricular activities with coeds, so I picked the farthest school away I could find but still get instate tuition.

Another option that hasn't been mentioned is joining ROTC, if you have decent grades they usually hand out scholarships like candy and you get a monthly stipend also. Downside is that you owe Uncle Sam a few years of your life afterwards and as a Reserve officer you can attend graduate school.

Also most graduate programs have assistance-ships, where basically you will work for a professor during your studies, many times full tuition is covered and you get a month stipend and sometimes health insurance.

Don't get in a hurry to get through your Bachelors to PhD. I used to think that but when I finished my MA I was done with school for a while, I was feeling the need to go out and make some money and all that jazz, I miss the freedoms of just being a full-time student. Right now I am a halftime student and full-time worker.

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MillCreek

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2007, 07:15:54 AM »
I moved out at age 18, halfway through my first quarter at the UW.  I was completely self-supporting from that moment on and paid my way through undergrad and grad school entirely on my own.  I worked 20 hours per week (Friday night, and early morning shifts on Saturday and Sunday) at one of the local hospitals doing scutwork to support myself and get healthcare coverage, and graduated with honors in chemistry.  Unfortunately, I graduated at the height of the recession, and there were no jobs for bright young analytical chemists at the time.  So I had to immediately go back to community college and retrain myself in a field that I could find a job.  Later in life, I paid my way through MBA school while still working full-time in a demanding professional job, married and two children.  If I can do it, you can do it.

Edited to add:  It occurred to me that I should point out that I received my BSc and MSc in the early 80's, and my MBA in 1999.  Back when I was at the UW, I paid $ 221 per quarter tuition in undergrad and $ 650 per quarter in grad.  My MBA cost me about $ 9000.  However, when I was still at the UW, I was making about $ 4-6 per hour,  with a total income of about $ 400-500 per month so I had to work a lot of hours to pay tuition, books and living expenses.  I took out no loans and accepted no grants or scholarships.  I shared houses and apartments to minimize rent expenses and rode my bicycle to work.  I was a National Merit scholar in high school, and was accepted to numerous Ivy League colleges, but went to the UW after weighing the cost-benefit ratio and discovering that I would have to take out lots of loans to go to the Ivy League.
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roo_ster

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2007, 07:25:14 AM »
Funny thing is, the kids/HS grads who are most mature, able to fend for themselves, and not need mom & dad to provide room, board, tuition, etc. are the ones who are the best suited to stay home with the folks during their schooling.  They understand that they have a great deal, appreciate the opportunity to defray expenses, and bust their hump to do well and honor their folks' efforts.  Privacy be damned, as they know they are living on someone else's nickel.

The other kids need a good boot in the ass and some experience. 

Uncle Sam will provide a quick & dirty "Callow Youth to Mature Man" training program, pay, and benefits in exchange for several years' indentured servitude.  Other options exist that take longer and one can end up deeply in debt before pulling one's head from their fourth point of contact*.

Figure out which one you are: mature & appreciative young adult or callow youth.  Don't waste your folks' money and patience by pissing it away. 

Also, psych degrees may be fun & easy, but the demand is not so great**.  Perhaps you might want to double-major in psych & something someone is willing to pay for for your BA/BS?




* AKA, *expletive deleted*ss.

** They are the contemporary equivalent to HS diplomas of yesteryear.  Several majors are like that. 
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roo_ster

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Euclidean

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2007, 08:00:12 AM »
Hi everyone,

I'm a member at THR and I was told about APS by one of the mods here, and I figured I'd be better off posting this here than anywhere else.

Here goes. I'm a college student. I have little money, and am not really a fan of working while I'm taking classes. I think it's more important to put my education first, so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now. I hope to get a job over the summer, and just save as much as I can, but I still worry about

I'm a psychology major, and I'm honestly hoping to get my bachelor's in two years, then go on and get my Ph.D. and become a college professor. I honestly think that type of job would be perfect for me: I have power, but not even where I would need to worry about becoming an officious jerk, and I would be doing something I like: helping others and talking about a topic I enjoy.

But I honestly question if it's worth it. I mean, I honestly want to be moving out of my mom's house within a few years. I want my own place. I want my privacy. I want to have a stable place I can call my own without fear of judgment from others.

I'm not sure how I could possibly move out with no money while trying to pursue a graduate degree.

So what the hell can I do? How do other people do it? Am I just stuck living at home until I'm almost 30? Or is there something I'm missing?

I'm under the impression many of you are older than I, so I'm hoping for the experience of others to help me out here. And please be kind--I'm new here. Smiley

Dude I'm not gonna ream you like some of these people here, but let me give you a little perspective.  I graduated with my Bachelors in 2003, went into an industry which was complete crap and got burned real bad, grew up a little bit and better realized that the real world is a bitch, and am now going back to school again for an MBA.  I didn't make any real money while I worked and leaving the job I did have has put me in a bad spot in a lot of ways, but I have been working since I was 17.  The only reasons I have gaps in my employment history is that jobs seem to come in little spurts.  You'll look for 3 months and find nothin', then suddenly you'll get three offers.

We're a lot alike.  I've thought about being a college professor too.  Granted I started in mathematics and moved on to accountancy and business, but the similarity is there.

I worked two jobs as an undergraduate.  I've currently only got one job but I'm working at getting promoted to full time hours in six months and am looking for something else to supplement income.

Most of the work in my life has been, well, shitake mushrooms.  Pardon my French.  I've done warehousing, apartment maintenance, worked at a gas station, worked in a lumber yard, and am currently slaving away in the world of big box store retail.  I've swallowed my pride and taken help where I could get it.  I try to find as much financial aid as possible.

I've learned not to waste my time and to make sacrifices.  I don't really have friends so much as classmates and coworkers.  I'll be up until 2 AM tonight after getting home at 12:30 AM to finish one part of one assignment, and then tomorrow I'll sleep in until 10 AM , finish the second part, and go to work and get home at 12:30 AM again and repeat.  That will be my weekend.  I'll take an hour and a half of each day plus my meal breaks to screw around, probably on this website.  That'll be the only wasted time and I'm wasting it on purpose to keep my sanity.  While other people are going to concerts and drinking Buds, you get your butt behind a cash register and punch the clock, or deliver pizzas.

And to be honest I know people who work a hell of a lot harder than I do, and longer hours.  My life is not so bad in comparison.

Truthfully I wish I'd been 25 before I went to college for the first time.  I made a lot of dumb mistakes when I was 18-21, my priorities were not as well adjusted as they are now.  Don't get me wrong I could have done much worse.

How bad do you want it?  Life is a series of competing moralities and opportunity costs.  Yes, ideally we should all live on our own and be able to study while fully using our special talents to maximum economic profit.  Doesn't happen for most people.  I have a college degree I don't even use any more and I currently make squat.  While this is frustrating because I know I personally can perform more advanced tasks for better pay, I have to keep in mind I'm paying my dues for a chance to be a better commodity on the job market later.  And if I really want it bad enough, I will make it happen.

If nothing else, your undergrad degrees do give you a slight edge.  At the job I applied for, the fact I had a degree, any degree, plus experience got me in to the best job that company had to offer me at the present time.  I got to turn down two lower paying jobs for the one I took.  Every dime counts.

Make damn sure you can make a living at whatever it is you do.  If a lot of people seem to quit in that field, there's probably a darn good reason why.  People our age have been fed this crap that "If you enjoy your job nothing else will matter" and it's a load of bull.  In the real world most people hate their job.  I work with fifty something year old people whose ambition in life was not to be a stockboy, but guess what they've been doing for the past 30 years?  Just go for something tolerable and find the best overall compromise between what you really want.  I've learned this the hard way.  I wish I could go back in time to meet the 18 year old me and kick my own butt.

But the #1 thing that has saved my butt is that I am still single.  The Good Book says it's good to be single and I agree.  I'm not saying don't have a s/o, just don't get married, no kids, and make sure the other person understands that.  It's not that these things make it impossible, it's just a hell of a lot easier when your time is your own.

Put things in perspective.  Most of my professors didn't get to be professors until they were in their late forties.  My own father drove trucks and staked lines for many hard years before he actually became valued for his engineering expertise and was promoted to CEO.  I'd like to be a PhD some day, and to be honest while I sometimes am frustrated with my situation in life, working on my master's while working at an honest but low paying job has given me a sense of purpose and a sense of cleanliness and honesty I haven't felt in years. 

Edit:  It's only fair to mention to some of these nice folks is that even with inflation considered, tuition is more expensive than ever and fees at most universities are outrageous.  I'm not saying people who graduated in earlier years didn't work hard or make sacrifices, but I last attended in 2003.  Coming back in 2007, the prices have skyrocketed to well over 150% of what it was four years ago!

Gewehr98

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2007, 08:19:14 AM »
Just a little eye-opener to keep in the back of your mind for now - new graduates in my neck of the woods aren't getting top dollar from employers.  The shingle does mean more than without, but they're looking for experience, too. Your experience clock is essentially starting from zero once they hand you the diploma. 

Even freshly-minted bachelor's degrees around here mean prospective employers might pay you $11.00/hr, assuming they'll even interview you from the mass of experienced applicants they get. 

I worked summers and evenings during my undergrad years.

Then I worked full-time while doing my post-grad stuff, over the course of a 20+ year Air Force career.

If Mom & Dad ain't rich, you'd best be getting busy getting experience and funds, and the sooner, the better.
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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2007, 08:43:56 AM »
Quote from: BrokenPaw
Living with parents provides too much of a safety net to really actually understand the bare fact of life:  we are responsible for ourselves, and if we can't support ourselves, no one else should have to.

Nonsense.  I lived at home during summers and holidays after graduating HS all the way through grad school.  I lived on campus while at school (with all but the textbooks paid by my parents and student loans).  I graduated, got a job, and leapt into the "real world".  In the eleven years since, I've never been late on a payment, nor have I racked up loads of debt.

Quote from: jfruser
Funny thing is, the kids/HS grads who are most mature, able to fend for themselves, and not need mom & dad to provide room, board, tuition, etc. are the ones who are the best suited to stay home with the folks during their schooling.  They understand that they have a great deal, appreciate the opportunity to defray expenses, and bust their hump to do well and honor their folks' efforts.  Privacy be damned, as they know they are living on someone else's nickel.

That was my approach.  I took great advantage to the opportunity my parents gave me. I would've lived at home year round while in school if I hadn't gone to school 4hrs away.

Chris

Chris

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2007, 08:51:35 AM »
I have little money, and am not really a fan of working while I'm taking classes. I think it's more important to put my education first, so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life working meaningless jobs like the ones I would be taking right now. I hope to get a job over the summer, and just save as much as I can, but I still worry about
You don't get money just by wishing for it.  You get it by working for it.
But I honestly question if it's worth it. I mean, I honestly want to be moving out of my mom's house within a few years. I want my own place. I want my privacy. I want to have a stable place I can call my own without fear of judgment from others.
Ignoring the silliness of the last sentence ... all it takes is money, and money is easy to get.  It just takes work.  Wink
I'm not sure how I could possibly move out with no money while trying to pursue a graduate degree.
If you're not willing to work enough to make the extra money then you can't.  Period.

Right now you're not working while you're going to school.  That's fine.  That's a personal choice, but it means that either your parents are paying for it (and letting you live with them too!) or it means you've gone out and picked up an armload of loans, betting on your future ability to pay them off.
So what the hell can I do? How do other people do it? Am I just stuck living at home until I'm almost 30? Or is there something I'm missing?
As for me, I worked my way through college, married a beautiful woman, rented for a bit and then bought a home when my job opportunities improved.  By the time I graduated (took me just over six years to get a four year degree) I had over eight years of applicable experience in addition to my degree.  Had a job offer at better than 150% of my previous salary before I even graduated.  I started with a crap job that was related to my major and it developed slowly but surely.  More importantly, it meant that I didn't have to spend the time after school building experience.  I never have had everything I wanted, but usually have had just about everything I needed.  I never took out student loans to pay for my schooling, which means that the money I'm making now is going towards more useful things like retirement, my house and making a pretty girl smile.

If I may speak frankly, I don't think you really want to leave the house.  I think you want all the ease and comfort of living at home and not having to work combined with the benefits of having your own place.  That's not a criticism, just an observation.  Everyone wants that kind of combination of easy security and freedom at one point or another, but realistically you can't have both, especially without actually working for it first.

Brad Johnson

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2007, 11:14:36 AM »
Rob,

You're problem obviously isn't a lack of desire, but I do think you're having issues with prioritizing.  Don't worry, though, we all have trouble with that from time to time.  Experience and a few life lessons will help.

You are trying to make "Going to school instead of working" and "Getting a place without having a job" fit in the same sentence.  They don't, and won't.  Ever.  No amount of wishing is going to make it work, either.

By your own admission education is priority One.  Concentrate on that.  You have a luxury you don't realize in a Mom that will allow you to live at home while you get your education.  Even in strictly monetary terms you are talking about a $5000-7000 per year savings just in housing alone.  Calculated out to the end of your proposed education you are looking at $70,000-$100,000 that you could have used for education, savings, beginning a retirement account, etc.  If you feel like paying your own way, set up a schedule and pay your Mom some rent or help with utilities (which I'm absolutely certain she would appreciate).

Brad
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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #18 on: September 14, 2007, 12:29:21 PM »
Rob, while I stand by the replies I made to your post, I'd like to apologize for my tone. I was in a very foul mood last night, and you got some of the fallout from that mood.

As so many here have stated, it's possible to go to school and work at the same time. It's tiring, but possible. Splitting the cost of an apartment with one or two friends makes it a lot easier. Plus, you can hit on the friends of their girlfriends. Wink

Headless Thompson Gunner

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #19 on: September 14, 2007, 01:16:38 PM »
You are entitled to nothing more than what you earn and what is freely given to you.  Sounds like you aren't all that interested in earning anything.  The only remaining options are to take whatever your parents give, or do without.  Your call.

I chose to do without (while working for a future when I'd be able to earn much more).  I lived on about $10k a year for living expenses and $6k for tuition.  I lived in a 250 SF apartment that wouldn't pass code.  No frivolities like TV or vacations or cases of beer or whatever else most folks mistakenly think they need.  It took me 7 years, but I put myself through school without using anyone else's money and without incurring any debt. I earned a useful degree (sorry pal, psychology ain't) that is now paying off huge rewards.

If you want a better life for yourself, just go out and earn it.  It isn't particularly hard.  It just takes work, time, and correct decision-making. 

Fly320s

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2007, 03:00:23 PM »
I honestly think that type of job would be perfect for me: I have power,...

That is a very scary statement.  No, I'm not joking.

No one should take a job to get power.  People who do that are not the people who should be given the power.  Isn't that Psychology 101?  Or at least Government 101?

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #21 on: September 14, 2007, 04:40:33 PM »
I honestly think that type of job would be perfect for me: I have power,...

That is a very scary statement.  No, I'm not joking.

No one should take a job to get power.  People who do that are not the people who should be given the power.  Isn't that Psychology 101?  Or at least Government 101?


Wanting power is not a bad thing. I also listed several reasons why I'd love that job, and I also didn't list the numerous personal reasons why I'd love that job. Actually, the power and authority that comes with being a university professor is the last on the list, but it's the least personal, and therefore most appropriate for me to say on an internet forum.

Anyways, thanks for the responses, everyone. I've been thinking about the military, which a couple of you brought up. I actually wanted to ask a few things before I talk to a recruiter, whose job is to get me to sign on the dotted line.

If I have a degree, does that change anything when I join? Some people have told me it guarantees a specific rank once basic has been completed, but then I've had others tell me that a degree does not change anything at all. My cousin said his education helped him to become an officer much faster than his counterparts, but then again he was good officer material to begin with, so yeah.

And is basic really as bad as it is in the movies? Tongue

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #22 on: September 14, 2007, 06:45:52 PM »
And is basic really as bad as it is in the movies? Tongue

Go ROTC...  you skip the hard core basic and you come out with a commission which will lead to high salaries.

I truly regret not doing ROTC, I was scared because it was during the Clinton admin and one of his campaign issues was downsizing the military.

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #23 on: September 14, 2007, 06:52:05 PM »
I earned a useful degree (sorry pal, psychology ain't)
Sorry, but a psychology degree is much more useful than people give it credit for. It won't get me a $50,000 starting salary that an engineering degree might get you, but a psych degree is useful in every part of the private and public sector, which means there is a higher quantity of jobs I can potentially take.

I'm assuming that statement was made out of ignorance, not out of knowledge.

And is basic really as bad as it is in the movies? Tongue

Go ROTC...  you skip the hard core basic and you come out with a commission which will lead to high salaries.

I truly regret not doing ROTC, I was scared because it was during the Clinton admin and one of his campaign issues was downsizing the military.


I've considered it, but for various reasons it's not something I wanted to pursue at the time.

Headless Thompson Gunner

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Re: Moving out for the first time
« Reply #24 on: September 14, 2007, 07:26:49 PM »
I earned a useful degree (sorry pal, psychology ain't)
Sorry, but a psychology degree is much more useful than people give it credit for. It won't get me a $50,000 starting salary that an engineering degree might get you, but a psych degree is useful in every part of the private and public sector, which means there is a higher quantity of jobs I can potentially take.

I'm assuming that statement was made out of ignorance, not out of knowledge.
It's your life.  If you wanna bet your future on the marketability of a psych degree, go for it.

My uncle majored in psych.  He got a nice shiny degree from one of the better schools, and thought he had the world on a string.  Then he tried to get a job.  And then he tried some more.  Then he tried even more.  Eventually he found one.  As a furniture maker.

He enjoyed the carpentry bit.  I think he spent 10 years or so having fun, playing with high powered tools.  Then he got married and had to start taking himself seriously.  He tried yet again to get a job (a real job, that is).

Eventually he gave up and went back to school for a degree in computer science.