Any guy who's been married for more than a year knows what "husband points" are.
For those still awash in freedom, your "husband point" account is much like a bank account. It begins on the day you're married. You begin with zero points. Take her out for a fabulous dinner, or dancing on the town, and you've accumulated points. Stare at an attractive female, and you've lost points.
Unlike a bank account, though, you never know what your balance is. You don't know if you're in the black or in the red. There's no 800 number you can call to check on your balance. You have no idea where you stand.
Until you get the signal. It can be as subtle as her checking the direction of your eyeballs when an attractive young lady passes by.
Or it can be as blatant as her cutting off your privates while you're asleep.
For most of us guys, though, the reality is somewhere in between.
Over the past many years, I've done what I thought would accrue husband points, and big-time. I cut, welded and hammered out rusty metal sculptures for her garden--the kind that sell for $300 or more at fancy-schmancy art fairs.
Back in early 1999, I secretly booked three (or was it five?) nights in a nice hotel in the French Quarter of New Orleans--the city of her heart, a city we visit as often as possible. We celebrated the 2000 New Year on the banks of the Mississippi, and that was another surprise that should have earned me "husband points."
I completely surprised her on Christmas Eve 2002 with the car of her dreams--a new 2003 PT Cruiser (thank God she has pedestrian tastes, as do I).
So, I should have a decent positive account balance, right?
Wrong.
Two nights ago we got to talking about everything in our lives.
And then it came out: if she ever gets any amount of money, she's outta here.
Talk about gut-punches.
To what do I owe this enormous "husband point" deficit?
Well, one factor is that I'm very selfish with my time. She has a very good and valid point there. I give, but not usually time.
The other factor is that I put in many, many hours for the Wisconsin Concealed Carry Association (WCCA), as well as the political action committees, and other related activities.
And it's the WCCA stuff that she has a particular problem with. Not because she disagrees with the cause--she's all for it--but she resents the fact that I'll tell her I'm too tired to go out to dinner, but then will get up early to head to the Capitol. Or I'll drive out on Friday to La Crosse or Eau Claire or Shawano or other remote locales, and won't get back until Sunday evening. Or I'll spend an entire weekend crafting a flyer, email or other communication to those on our email list.
On June 11th, we'll have been married for 29 years. June 12th will be the 38th anniversary of the day we first met--the day I absolutely knew I'd found my partner for life.
So, for anyone--especially the ladies on this forum--how do I deal with this deap-seated anger, and my loss of "husband points?"
Guys, I thought I had a "husband points surplus" to last me ten years.
The longer I live, the less I know.
