I think the gay marriage argument has been fought poorly on both sides. If it was my decision, I'd do it thusly:
Get the government out of the "marriage" business altogether. Instead, everyone should be able to qualify for "Partnership" liscences in order to gain the financial/legal benefits currently associated with marriage. This way, gay/straight/whatever couples who want to gain those benefits all get to have the same rules. Then, if you want this partnership to have any religious commitment overtones, you can find the nearest church/synagogue/whatever that will agree to conduct your "marriage" ceremony. Same rules for everyone = no reason to fight.