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Author Topic: Spoilers  (Read 21926 times)

Ezekiel

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Spoilers
« on: May 13, 2008, 07:11:29 PM »
A friend told me of a topic like this on another Board, and it became funny as hell.  (Let's see if there is interest here!)  The idea, I'll start with two just to have example, is to lay out some movie spoilers in as irreverent a manner as possible.  Here are mine, the first a softball:

1.  Vader is Luke's father.
2.  The MIGs bug out.
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Zeke

41magsnub

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2008, 07:22:07 PM »
3.  Snape killed Dumbledore
4.  The Ark is hidden in a warehouse studied by "Top Men"
5.  The Nimitz has to return to the present before it can intercept the Japanese bombers heading for Pearl Harbor.
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K Frame

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2008, 07:34:45 PM »
Tom Doniphon shot Liberty Valence.



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Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

freakazoid

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2008, 07:51:02 PM »
The Titanic sinks.
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"so I ended up getting the above because I didn't want to make a whole production of sticking something between my knees and cranking. To me, the cranking on mine is pretty effortless, at least on the coarse setting. Maybe if someone has arthritis or something, it would be more difficult for them." - Ben

"I see a rager at least once a week." - brimic

nico

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2008, 07:55:06 PM »
Do we get extra points if it applies to multiple movies?

Leonardo DiCaprio dies  grin

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Scout26

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2008, 08:02:00 PM »
The Germans lose the battle/war.

The Japanese lose the battle/war.

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Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


Bring me my Broadsword and a clear understanding.
Get up to the roundhouse on the cliff-top standing.
Take women and children and bed them down.
Bless with a hard heart those that stand with me.
Bless the women and children who firm our hands.
Put our backs to the north wind.
Hold fast by the river.
Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.

yesitsloaded

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2008, 08:22:03 PM »
Neo dies, everything is saved.

The Spartans die.

Ryan gets saved.

It turns out to be an alien.

He wins the race and gets the medal.

The white witch dies and Narnia is saved.

Skip dies.

They get married.

The wife shoots him.



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I can haz nukular banstiks ? Say no to furries, yes to people.

Perd Hapley

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2008, 08:34:51 PM »
Bambi's mother is shot and killed (and hopefully eaten) by loathsome hunters. 

Brad Pitt and Ed Norton are playing two personalities, in the same person. 

The underdog team wins the championship. 

The Eleven exited the vault in SWAT gear, with the money in their duffel bags. 

The aliens lose. 



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"Doggies are angel babies!" -- my wife

wmenorr67

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2008, 08:40:14 PM »
The robots were bad.

Bourne maybe alive.
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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

209

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2008, 09:04:39 PM »
Ransom Stoddard (James Stewart) was the man who shot Liberty Vance.  The rough and tough rancher, Doniphon (John Wayne) didnt because he was already dead.

Steven Segal dies almost immediately in the movie, Executive Decision.  He never gets a chance to throw a knife or kick anyone.

Chuck Norris wins again.
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wmenorr67

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2008, 09:12:22 PM »
Rocky wins title, Rocky loses title, Rocky wins title back.
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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

freakazoid

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2008, 09:16:28 PM »
Miranda is a planet, Smiley
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"so I ended up getting the above because I didn't want to make a whole production of sticking something between my knees and cranking. To me, the cranking on mine is pretty effortless, at least on the coarse setting. Maybe if someone has arthritis or something, it would be more difficult for them." - Ben

"I see a rager at least once a week." - brimic

wmenorr67

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2008, 09:17:17 PM »
Jaws is killed.

King Kong is killed.

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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

RocketMan

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2008, 09:29:53 PM »
Spock is found.

Sheriff John T. Chance gets the girl.

Holland retires, conducts his opus at his surprise party.
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If there really was intelligent life on other planets, we'd be sending them foreign aid.

Conservatives see George Orwell's "1984" as a cautionary tale.  Progressives view it as a "how to" manual.

My wife often says to me, "You are evil and must be destroyed." She may be right.

Liberals believe one should never let reason, logic and facts get in the way of a good emotional argument.

wmenorr67

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2008, 09:30:38 PM »
Bandit makes the beer run on time.
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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

mfree

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #15 on: May 14, 2008, 03:57:41 AM »
Big shiny box calls dibs on Europa.

Tweaker rams nice car into bulldozer

EDIT: Oh. and...

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
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wmenorr67

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #16 on: May 14, 2008, 04:00:06 AM »
Sara Connors is pregnant and her son sends his dad back to save the world.
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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

bedlamite

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #17 on: May 14, 2008, 04:14:23 AM »
He goes back to work in the housewares department at S-mart.
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A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.
Is defenestration possible through the overton window?

charby

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2008, 04:26:21 AM »
Everett finds his treasure.

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Iowa- 88% more livable that the rest of the US

Uranus is a gas giant.

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Manedwolf

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2008, 04:28:38 AM »
The psychologist is really dead, and only the boy who sees dead people sees him.
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K Frame

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2008, 04:40:33 AM »
"Ransom Stoddard (James Stewart) was the man who shot Liberty Vance.  The rough and tough rancher, Doniphon (John Wayne) didnt because he was already dead."

Not sure which movie you were watching....


Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

Harvey the Rabbit is invisible.
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Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

charby

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2008, 04:42:08 AM »
Elvis is alive and visits Graceland.
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Iowa- 88% more livable that the rest of the US

Uranus is a gas giant.

Team 444: Member# 536

Ezekiel

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #22 on: May 14, 2008, 04:48:23 AM »
Brian dies of cancer.
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Zeke

Ben

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #23 on: May 14, 2008, 04:51:11 AM »
Moe hits Curly.

The guy in the red shirt dies.
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"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."

wmenorr67

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Re: Spoilers
« Reply #24 on: May 14, 2008, 04:58:19 AM »
They all live happily ever after.
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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!
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