Nah. Find the twangiest, most annoying country music you can, and lock the knob off at "11".....
![Smiley](http://www.armedpolitesociety.com/Smileys/default/smiley.gif)
This song would work, my old Army roommate had it on repeat on his stereo for days at a time and I finally keyed the CD while he was gone because I couldn't take it anymore:
Sold (The Grundy County Auction Incident)
(written by Richard Fagan and Robb Royer)
Well, I went down to the Grundy County Auction
Where I saw somethin' I just had to have
My mind told me I should proceed with caution
But my heart said "Go ahead an' make a bid on that!"
(Chorus)
An' I said, hey, pretty lady, won'cha gi'me a sign
I'd give anything to make you mine all mine
I'll do your biddin' an' be at your beckon call
Yeah, I never seen anyone lookin' so fine
Man, I gotta have have her, she's a one-of-a-kind
I'm goin' once, goin' twice,
I'm sold! On the lady in the second row
She's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten, I know
She's got ruby-red lips, blond hair, blue eyes
An' I'm about to bid my heart good-bye!
Well, the auctioneer was goin' about a mile minute
He was takin' bids an' callin' them out loud
An' I guess I was really gettin' in it
'Cause I just shouted out above the crowd
An' I said, hey, pretty lady, won'cha gi'me a sign
I'd give anything to make you mine all mine
I'll do your biddin' an' be at your beckon call
Yeah, I never seen anyone lookin' so fine
Man, I gotta have have her, she's a one-of-a-kind
I'm goin' once, goin' twice,
I'm sold! On the lady in the long black dress
Well she won my heart, it was no contest
With her ruby-red lips, blond hair, blue eyes
An' I'm about to bid my heart good-bye!
Yeah, we found love on the auction block
An' I hauled her heart away
Now we still love to laugh about
The way we met that day