Author Topic: I'm now a certified White Van Man (Read 5038 times)

RadioFreeSeaLab · « **on:** March 25, 2009, 07:09:45 PM »

The boss finally got me a company vehicle. No more putting 50k a year for the company on my personal truck.
I present to you the new Dasmi-mobile.
2001 Chevy Express, 11,000 miles.

(picture is representative only. But it looks just like this.)

gunsmith · « **Reply #1 on:** March 25, 2009, 07:20:28 PM »

http://www.suspiciouswhitevan.net/

« View all web results for suspicious white van
MyFox Washington DC
Slain Loudoun Man Did Contract Work for CIA
Washington Post - ‎5 hours ago‎
Among the tips his office has looked into was a report by a Shenstone Farm resident of a suspicious white van with Florida plates seen around 6:30 pm ...
Loudoun County, Va. murder has markings of a gang initiation Examiner.com
Authorities Eager to Interview Attack Survivor Washington Post
all 10 news articles »
MyFox Washington DC
Pair Were Attacked on Morning Stroll
Washington Post - ‎Mar 23, 2009‎
Deputies are canvassing the neighborhoods surrounding the crime scene, asking whether anyone had seen a white van in the area or has a home security system ...
Lansdowne Victims Identified; No New Leads Leesburg Today
A shocking murder mystery has some Loudoun County residents … MyFox Washington DC
Home > Top > Victims in Lansdowne attack were husband and wife Loudoun Times
News Channel 8 - Washington Post

RadioFreeSeaLab · « **Reply #2 on:** March 25, 2009, 07:21:50 PM »

ahahahah :)
Mine's got the company logo on the side, slightly less suspicious.

Scout26 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 25, 2009, 09:03:23 PM »

Quote from: dasmi on March 25, 2009, 07:21:50 PM

ahahahah :)
Mine's got the company logo on the side, slightly less suspicious.

Hmmm...

Dasmi Inc. Psychopath for Hire

Free Candy !!!

Want to see the puppies little boy ??

I'm not a serial killer or rapist, really !!!

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #4 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:25:07 PM »

Scout, I think you forgot the part about when the van is arockin'.

Headless Thompson Gunner · « **Reply #5 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:27:51 PM »

I don't get it. What makes a generic white van seem suspicious. They'e common as can be.

Scout26 · « **Reply #6 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:41:58 PM »

Quote from: Headless Thompson Gunner on March 25, 2009, 11:27:51 PM

They'e common as can be.

That's what makes them suspicious......

gunsmith · « **Reply #7 on:** March 26, 2009, 12:30:52 AM »

Quote from: Headless Thompson Gunner on March 25, 2009, 11:27:51 PM

I don't get it. What makes a generic white van seem suspicious. They'e common as can be.

they're always looking for a white van, remember the "D.C snipers" white van, I found this real quick on google
http://www.everyjoe.com/thedailytee/creepy-white-van-t-shirt-helps-prevent-crime/

#
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School warns parents of man in van - Crime - News | The Manly Daily

Northern Beaches acting crime manager Graeme Pickering said all reported ... “There have been a number of reports of a man in a white van seen near schools

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #8 on:** March 26, 2009, 02:36:36 AM »

I don't know what difference the color makes, but they make a handy kidnapping-mobile. Open the door, grab the victim, tie up and gag, move out. If you have a driver, you can just grab and go. With that windowless space, you've got a mobile torture/rape/murder lab. Or just a discrete place for black market activity, like selling drugs or illegal incandescent Gaea-murder bulbs.

Shucks, man, let's you and me get one and go on a crime spree.

castle key · « **Reply #9 on:** March 26, 2009, 08:11:14 AM »

Quote from: Headless Thompson Gunner on March 25, 2009, 11:27:51 PM

I don't get it. What makes a generic white van seem suspicious. They'e common as can be.

While conducting a bit of surveillance for a friend regarding a domestic issue I used the ultimate UC vehicle, the mini van. The boyfriend of friend's wife (Yeah, you get the picture) leaned on the van as he urinated in public, goat headed drunk, after pouring himself out of wife/girlfriend car also occupied by married couple's son.

Made for some interesting reading in the various legal papers filed regarding the divorce.

Oh, I was on the other side of the glass inside as the aforementioned boyfriend leaned on the van.

Beautiful.

The only problem with the mini van is that it can be a problem when a mistaken backing evolution leaves the mini van perched on a bird bath in the front of a mountain cabin a couple of doors down from the house where wife/girlfriend is hosting a party attended by boyfriend/not husband/paramour. That required some pretty fast talking to get the bird bath owner to help push the van back onto the road without tumbling the van down the hill and drawing a bunch of attention from the surveillance target.

I guess my line of bull%$#$#& is better than my driving!!

mtnbkr · « **Reply #10 on:** March 26, 2009, 08:29:51 AM »

Quote from: Headless Thompson Gunner on March 25, 2009, 11:27:51 PM

I don't get it. What makes a generic white van seem suspicious. They'e common as can be.

During the whole DC Sniper incident in 2002, the police were CERTAIN the perps were driving a white van. They made lots of noise regarding this. White males in white vans were questioned frequently, including a friend of mine (former Marine with a security clearance that allowed him to work at the White House). Instead of white men in a white van, it turned out to be black men in a blue sedan. :rolleyes:

Chris

coppertales · « **Reply #11 on:** March 26, 2009, 10:21:21 AM »

When do you get your lobotomy? Or, is it only women van drivers that get those.......chris3

crt360 · « **Reply #12 on:** March 26, 2009, 10:25:17 AM »

Quote from: Mr. Tactical pants on March 26, 2009, 02:36:36 AM

I don't know what difference the color makes, but they make a handy kidnapping-mobile. Open the door, grab the victim, tie up and gag, move out. If you have a driver, you can just grab and go. With that windowless space, you've got a mobile torture/rape/murder lab. Or just a discrete place for black market activity, like selling drugs or illegal incandescent Gaea-murder bulbs.

And, don't forget, with a few fake magnetic signs, you can make the plain white van look like a legitimate business vehicle and gain access to locations where others might be questioned.

Gewehr98 · « **Reply #13 on:** March 26, 2009, 10:28:49 AM »

It needs antennae, and lots of them.

Stencil tire pressure ratings on each of the fender wells, too.

Mount a generator on a rear-bumper rack with the 115VAC power cord going inside the rear doors, let the generator idle, and park across the street from somebody's home for a while.

(I had a good deal on a plain-white Chevy fleet 3/4-ton van from a local beer distributor, and I was ready to do that, just for $hits and giggles...)

Brad Johnson · « **Reply #14 on:** March 26, 2009, 01:34:32 PM »

What's really fun is a cargo van. No interior/sound deadening makes them noisy as all getout inside, but it also makes them very, very light. Coupled with even a modest engine, most cargo vans will get up and scoot!

A company I used to work for purchase a Chevy Astro with the 4.3 liter V6. By sheer chance it was also geared 4:10 with a posi. It was like riding inside inside a blender full of rocks but, my-oh-my, that little van ran like a scalded cat. If I was a betting man I'd say it would probably run low 14's, maybe even a high 13 on a perfect day. Sucker was QUICK!

Brad

charby · « **Reply #15 on:** March 26, 2009, 01:43:57 PM »

if my wife wouldn't shoot me I'd consider this for my summer recreation vehicle.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/62-63-64-65-66-67-Ford-Econoline-Van-Heavy-Duty-351W_W0QQitemZ120395991179QQihZ002QQcategoryZ6224QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

RadioFreeSeaLab · « **Reply #16 on:** March 26, 2009, 01:51:05 PM »

It's got cell phone, scanner, and CB radio antennas. :)

RadioFreeSeaLab · « **Reply #17 on:** March 26, 2009, 01:53:31 PM »

Quote from: Brad Johnson on March 26, 2009, 01:34:32 PM

What's really fun is a cargo van. No interior/sound deadening makes them noisy as all getout inside, but it also makes them very, very light. Coupled with even a modest engine, most cargo vans will get up and scoot!

A company I used to work for purchase a Chevy Astro with the 4.3 liter V6. By sheer chance it was also geared 4:10 with a posi. It was like riding inside inside a blender full of rocks but, my-oh-my, that little van ran like a scalded cat. If I was a betting man I'd say it would probably run low 14's, maybe even a high 13 on a perfect day. Sucker was QUICK!

Brad

This one has the 4.3L V6. It's not fast, but it's got more scoot than I expected.

gunsmith · « **Reply #18 on:** March 26, 2009, 06:36:37 PM »

Quote from: Charby on March 26, 2009, 01:43:57 PM

if my wife wouldn't shoot me I'd consider this for my summer recreation vehicle.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/62-63-64-65-66-67-Ford-Econoline-Van-Heavy-Duty-351W_W0QQitemZ120395991179QQihZ002QQcategoryZ6224QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

hey like wow its the like scooby van but like white

seeker_two · « **Reply #19 on:** March 26, 2009, 06:42:16 PM »

Nice....all you need is a box of lollipops and a parole officer, then you're all set.....

PTK · « **Reply #20 on:** March 26, 2009, 07:19:03 PM »

That reminds me, due to the women I hang around with (all are 18+ but basically none look over 15) people joke about getting me an icecream truck with "FREE CANDY" painted on the side.

...I think they were joking, at least.

Bogie · « **Reply #21 on:** March 26, 2009, 08:01:27 PM »

I've got a friend who has a Chevy Astro... He's got a 350 in it... And he's about to pull the engine and tranny from a TransCamaro that one of his kids lunched while playing bridge-bumper-cars... He figures he's going to have to do some welding and cutting, but hey... The thing is already reinforced from the earlier donation...

RadioFreeSeaLab · « **Reply #22 on:** March 26, 2009, 08:03:08 PM »

Nice.

MagnumDweeb · « **Reply #23 on:** March 27, 2009, 09:26:59 AM »

My 2nd roomate, the new roomate has a big white van, and of course when i saw it I made an inappropriate joke that started off something like, wow you could twenty clowns in that thing, and with (a certain people who hail from south of the border) you could fit fifty. Every time a white van is in an accident here in Central Florida, most people ask if there were Mexicans in it because there have been a few accidents where a white van had ten or so Mexicans hop out and run away in hopes of avoiding immigration. Orange county if infamous for busting entire landscapping crews for immigration violations. Luckily I live in Seminole County where most of the landscappers are white good ol' boys who own the businesses themeselves and pay decent wages for the work.

slingshot · « **Reply #24 on:** March 27, 2009, 10:19:51 AM »

I own one. They are quite useful. You can haul a lot of stuff comfortably in one and you can stack all the way to the ceiling if you choose. It may well be one of the better bug out vehicles.

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Author Topic: I'm now a certified White Van Man (Read 5038 times)