After many requests (O.K., just one), I give you in time for Christmas the 12 Days of Mopery*. Written and performed by El Tejon, 1995 at the Christmas Party at the Office of the Prosecuting Attorney, Tippecanoe County, Indiana.
*Mopery=activity associated with criminal defendants, see "mopes" criminal defendants (known in other states as perps, scrotes, inter alia)
12 pack of stolen Bud
.11 BAC
10 thou restitution
9 years probation
8 False Informings
7 Conversions
6 Speeding Tickets
5 days of road crew
4 Batteries
3 P.I.s
2 bad checks
and a count of Resisting Law Enforcement.