I see my name here, and see that some love-struck female (or tranny) is planning to marry me on Aug 31, 2013. I'm pretty sure it's me, as I'm the only Jake who could arouse such passion, aside from a late lamented Blues Brother. There is a movie star by that name, but he's a homely dude. I, on the other hand, once took my shirt off in front of the mirror and became bisexual.
Now, I can't recall a wedding being planned, but this means nothing. I forget minor stuff like that. Besides, it wouldn't surprise me too much if the female in question planned all this out before she gets the engagement ring. Being an agreeable sort, I'd probably go along with it. Being a bastard, I'd flake at the last minute and change my cell phone number.
There's no name on the email, so I can't say which female of my acquaintance this would be with such foul designs upon me. The only clue is a sister with a name beginning with 'L'. Latest paramour was an only child, so this is probably one of her coworkers, some of whom I dated.
Jake,
There's always the French Foreign Legion....
Might not be a bad idea. I expect that Euros will be holding their value better than dollars for the next several years. I could return from the wars and buy Detroit.
