One of the things I find most telling is the difference in perception between men[0] and women.
For me, and for most men, poor is when we have to let one of the necessities go (or turn to others for help with it) for a while in order to maintain the others. Not enough money in the paycheck for both the rent and the electric bill, [1] for example. Sometimes we re-define necessities as our jobs and other factors dictate, (For example, I wouldn't last long in my job without a cell phone, nor would I be able to keep up with my ex's ever-changing schedule so I can see my kids.) but we tend to understand that the basic essentials are ~2000 calories a day, clean clothes,[2] a warm dry place to sleep and a shower. If those are available, and we know we can continue to provide them for some minimum time into the future, we're doing OK. Throw in the ability to get to work in a comfortable manner, some variety in the diet, and a few low-cost leisure activities, and we don't really feel poor.
Women, OTOH, seem to have cable/DSS, decorative items, junk food and various other things not essential to life on the "necessities" list. I can see basic cosmetics as a job requirement, particularly with an office job, and (still assuming an office job here) their clothing will tend to be more expensive, both to purchase and to maintain. OTOH, and using my ex wife as an example, she wanted to get cable when we barely had groceries. We were "poor" because the car was old and ugly, and we only had one that worked. We were "poor" because she had to resort to Goodwill and garage sales to afford an extra week's worth[3] of work clothes. We were "poor" because we couldn't go out to eat a couple times a week. We were "poor" because we were using two-year-old smartphones We had a roof over our heads. We had electricity and running water. We had plenty of calories each day. We had cell phones. To hear her tell it, though, we were worse off than anyone in any third world country.
I see it a lot with the singles scene now, too; women who protest that they don't insist on a rich guy, just "stability," but when you start pressing them for what that means, it ends up pretty much requiring a near-six-figure salary. Car newer than 5 years or so, nice house owned outright or on a fairly short mortgage, fairly large amount in savings, enough extra income that she won't have to work, etc. I don't object to the idea of the man providing the essentials of life, but I do object to the alterations to the list of essentials when it basically turns into "the man's responsibility is to provide everything the woman wants, and the woman's only responsibility is to provide sex when she feels like it." I'll keep the rent paid and food in the cabinets; if you want toys, you can contribute financially.
- Real men. I don't care about metrosexuals' perception of daily lattes and a HuffPo premium account as basic needs.
[1] I'm counting electricity as a necessity because most of my week-to-week groceries are refrigerated or frozen. The loss of what's currently in my freezer would be at least as much as last month's electric bill. While I have a gas stove, and could at least cook what I can eat in the time it takes to start spoiling, others would also be dependent on electricity to cook, so it would be a total loss barring a friend willing to lend a stove in trade for some of the food. I do have at least enough shelf-storable food to get through a pay period, but a lot of it also requires cooking. (Beans, rice, etc.)
[2] A job requirement, among plenty of other reasons.
[3] Apparently it was too obvious if she just rearranged the same outfits each week.
