"Real Men Don't Use Straws"

[Ben]

Okay, is this something that has always been around and I haven't been aware, or is this some stupid new thing that has popped up? I have, in the last month, run into multiple videos and articles saying that "men don't use straws to drink".

I get a drink at the drive through, I'm using a straw. I get a glass of water at a restaurant where the hygiene is questionable, I use a straw. If I feel like using a straw anywhere else, as a man, IDGAF what anybody says or thinks, I'll use a straw if I want to. I'll drink out of a sippy cup if I want to. Which, ironically, is technically what my manly Iron Infidel water bottle, that I use during manly boxing workouts, is - a big sippy cup. Come at me, bro. 

[WLJ]

Unless the drink is in a cup with a lid and I'm in the car no sissy stick for me. Milk shakes excluded from that.
Has nothing to do with being manly just that I just don't like them otherwise.

[Perd Hapley]

Straws aren't for girls. They're for caged hamsters.



I just prefer to drink like a human.

I also dislike those sippy cup lids on restaurant or gas station coffee cups, and for the same reason. It just doesn't feel right.

(Yeah, milkshakes are an exception. Straws make sense there.)

[Ben]

Straws aren't for girls. They're for caged hamsters.

YOU'RE A CAGED HAMSTER!

[Nick1911]

If I'm at a restaurant and served a beverage with a straw, I prefer to not use the straw.  I don't consider this a matter of masculinity though; it's just my personal preference.

[230RN]

"as a man, IDGAF what anybody says or thinks"

Pretty much true.  Some limitations.  I'll go along with it in this limited area.

Wife2 always carried a couple of straws in her purse to avoid messing up her lipstick.  She drove me crazy when she'd raise her glass and probe around with her tongue until she found the end, then wiggle the tip around the end of it for a few seconds.

And she knew it drove me ...ummm... bonkers and would exaggerate and amplify the exploratory .... umm... explorations just to get my ...ummm...goat.

I tried to make a pun relating to "aural" vesus "oral," but one just wouldn't come.

I'm not signing this one so nobody will know who posted it.

[zahc]

Any statement of the form "real men X" can be dismissed immediately

[Perd Hapley]

Any statement of the form "real men X" can be dismissed immediately

Real men dismiss this comment immediately.

[grampster]

A manly man pays attention to no one.  Caesar

[Tuco]

The profound aversion to straws is born from the same homophobic menchildren afraid to wash their ass.

[Cliffh]

If in the car, I'll use a straw.  Or for a milkshake, until it melts enough to drink out of the glass normally. 

In sketchy restaurants, well, if there's "grunge" in/on the glass, it's likely to transfer to the drink anyway - so using a straw is useless.

[Perd Hapley]

YOU'RE A CAGED HAMSTER!

"Forsooth, we are all but hamsters in the cage of this life."
-- Juvenal

[Perd Hapley]

In sketchy restaurants, well, if there's "grunge" in/on the glass, it's likely to transfer to the drink anyway - so using a straw is useless.

You'd think. I guess it makes people feel better.

[RocketMan]

I use a straw in drinks with crushed ice.  I've found that ice tends to jam in the bottom of a glass.  It has an annoying tendency to let go unexpectedly and slide out into my lap when I tilt the glass back to get the last of the beverage out of it.

[K Frame]

The profound aversion to straws is born from the same homophobic menchildren afraid to wash their ass.

This.

[WLJ]

I use a straw in drinks with crushed ice.  I've found that ice tends to jam in the bottom of a glass.  It has an annoying tendency to let go unexpectedly and slide out into my lap when I tilt the glass back to get the last of the beverage out of it.

Crushed ice is so that they can sell you a $3 cup of 90% water 10% drink.

[MechAg94]

Crushed ice is so that they can sell you a $3 cup of 90% water 10% drink.

I recall a college professor (heat transfer) who estimated the ice might cost more than the soda mix.  I don't remember the math he threw out. 

[MechAg94]

If in the car, I'll use a straw.  Or for a milkshake, until it melts enough to drink out of the glass normally. 

In sketchy restaurants, well, if there's "grunge" in/on the glass, it's likely to transfer to the drink anyway - so using a straw is useless.

A man I know who once worked down in Venezuela (before the commie stuff started) is the first one I heard talk about using straws since he didn't know how well they cleaned the glass.  He figured he couldn't do much about what was in the drink, but he didn't have to put his mouth on the outside of glass. 

I just figured it was an easy way to be certain I didn't spill something on work clothes.  Or in the truck with a fountain drink. 

[MechAg94]

When I moved to my current area, I had people tell me something similar about men using umbrellas.  I had never heard that prior.

[cordex]

When visiting a Caribbean island as a kid I noticed that all the locals used straws when drinking out of cans. I asked and they said that the cans got dirty when being shipped in so they used the straws to avoid putting their lips on the can.

Maybe they are right, but opening the can also dunks a piece right in the drink.

[AZRedhawk44]

When visiting a Caribbean island as a kid I noticed that all the locals used straws when drinking out of cans. I asked and they said that the cans got dirty when being shipped in so they used the straws to avoid putting their lips on the can.

Maybe they are right, but opening the can also dunks a piece right in the drink.

Having worked in a cannery, I can attest that warehouses are full of mice and rats.  There's no getting rid of them, even in the best warehouses.  They get into the pallets of product and build nests and *expletive deleted*it on top of product lids.

I don't drink out of beverage cans unless I can't help it. 

As for straws, I always envision the origin of the straw as a way for a 1920's young lady to not mess up her lipstick when going out on a date to the soda fountain.  I see them as unnecessary and wasteful, and don't use them.  The only exception is a milkshake.

[WLJ]

When I moved to my current area, I had people tell me something similar about men using umbrellas.  I had never heard that prior.

They're all wet

[Perd Hapley]

When I moved to my current area, I had people tell me something similar about men using umbrellas.  I had never heard that prior.

Whether it's right or wrong, I have the same idea in my head. It's just my point of view. I don't go around telling guys they're sissies for using umbrellas.

[Bogie]

I use a straw.
 
I have a mustache.
 

[gunsmith]

 I read somewhere it is healthier to use a straw.
 I hardly ever go out to eat these days but always insist on a straw.