R.I.P. Scout26
So what happens when a male snowspeeder tries to wrap cables around its legs?
Obviously, it will scissor the cables and set itself free.
You owe me a new ipad.
https://babylonbee.com/news/rian-johnson-to-direct-mr-rogers-sequel-where-hes-just-bitter-old-man-who-doesnt-believe-in-all-that-be-kind-to-your-neighbor-crap-anymore
The dogs have begun putting signs up around the city reading things like, "Please Pick Up After Your Owner" and "If Your Human Poops, You Scoop."
It’s clear that Trump can’t do anything right because he will stubbornly insist on being Trump while doing it. That’s why he must resign—though I will then criticize him for abandoning the country in our time of need.
"You know what? You're right -- it's not fair for me to do this when you have to wait 10 days to protect yourself. How about this -- I'll go rob some other peeps and hit you up later once your gun is in?"The robber also agreed that when he comes back, he will wait for the man to go get his gun, unlock it, get the separately stored ammo, and load the firearm, "just so that it's a fair fight."
The Kool-Aid Man did not mince words in his new campaign against Trump, though. When asked if the president should be impeached, he had a simple response.“Oh yeah!”
"Studies have shown that overzealous church greeters can prevent illegal crossings 422% more effectively than a traditional, solid barrier," said a US Border Patrol agent. "When illegal aliens see the happy church volunteers trying to chase them down and ask about their week, they're sure to flee many miles away so their personal space isn't violated by the notoriously extroverted church staffers again."The plan will reportedly also include stations with extremely watered-down coffee to discourage the immigrants from entering any further.
When pro-choicers saw the Baby Yodas in their sonograms, they instantly dropped their support for abortion, saying they couldn't bear to harm such an adorable little guy."Awwwww he's so cute!" one Portland progressive pregnant woman said. "I couldn't possibly end the beating heart of this little man."
Bounty hunters across the country also vowed to protect the unborn after the disguises were in place.
https://babylonbee.com/news/driver-allowed-access-to-carpool-lane-since-preferred-pronoun-is-theyMan Driving Alone In Carpool Lane Informs Officer His Preferred Pronoun Is 'They'
I'm just pondering whether that would work in California.
At publishing time, the man had committed to tithe 10% of his cryptocurrency and precious metals to The Ron Paul Institute for Peace and Prosperity, and made a solemn vow never rest until every human being on earth had heard the good news of libertarianism.
State leaders were blindsided by the strategy and aren't sure whether they should restrict abortion or rescind the ban on capital punishment. "We're definitely in a bit of a pickle," Governor Andrew Cuomo said. "We must respect these babies' chosen identities as serial killers, and we obviously can't perform a lethal injection on a serial killer.""That would just be inhumane," he added, shaking his head.
“What’s great about the official Dave Ramsey card is that it always gets declined,” Ramsey said on his radio program. “Try to buy a new fishing reel? Declined. Try to book a family vacation you can’t afford? Declined. Replace a shredded tire you failed to budget for? Yup, you guessed it—declined.”
According to Ramsey, the new card also offers rewards points, giving 0% back on all food and gas purchases and 0% back when used and declined for purchases at online retailers like Amazon and eBay.
"Repeat after me: Trump voters are sheep!""Trump voters are sheep," viewers mumbled obediently.