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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 88367 times)

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #200 on: March 09, 2023, 04:53:40 PM »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Panic Erupts On Delta Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine'
https://babylonbee.com/news/panic-on-delta-flight-as-captain-of-female-crew-announces-that-everythings-fine
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #201 on: March 09, 2023, 05:02:21 PM »
List Of Side Effects From Drug Commercial Just Sounds Like 40-Year-Old Man's Typical Tuesday Afternoon
https://babylonbee.com/news/list-of-side-effects-from-drug-commercial-just-sounds-like-40-year-old-mans-typical-tuesday-afternoon
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #202 on: March 10, 2023, 12:58:30 PM »
Mario Arrested For Hate Crime After Leaving Skid Marks On Rainbow Road
https://babylonbee.com/news/mario-arrested-for-hate-crime-after-leaving-skid-marks-on-rainbow-road
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Ben

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #203 on: March 10, 2023, 01:02:07 PM »
Quote from: WLJ on March 10, 2023, 12:58:30 PM
Mario Arrested For Hate Crime After Leaving Skid Marks On Rainbow Road
https://babylonbee.com/news/mario-arrested-for-hate-crime-after-leaving-skid-marks-on-rainbow-road

This isn't the first one of these (in the real news) that has happened. If it wasn't another rainbow crosswalk, it was like a BLM or something crosswalk.

Seriously, do these people not know how streets work? While I will go along with "done on purpose", so what? If it wasn't done on purpose all at once, it would have been done under normal driving conditions over some days.
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"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #204 on: March 10, 2023, 01:05:00 PM »
Quote from: Ben on March 10, 2023, 01:02:07 PM
This isn't the first one of these (in the real news) that has happened. If it wasn't another rainbow crosswalk, it was like a BLM or something crosswalk.

Seriously, do these people not know how streets work? While I will go along with "done on purpose", so what? If it wasn't done on purpose all at once, it would have been done under normal driving conditions over some days.

Yep
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #205 on: March 13, 2023, 02:26:12 PM »
Tucker Carlson Obtains 40,000 Unseen Hours Of Biden Falling Down Air Force One Stairs
https://babylonbee.com/news/tucker-carlson-obtains-40000-unseen-hours-of-biden-falling-down-air-force-one-stairs
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #206 on: March 16, 2023, 03:24:02 PM »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Parents Warn Kids If They Don't Behave They'll Take Them To Applebee's
https://babylonbee.com/news/parents-warn-kids-if-they-dont-behave-theyll-take-them-to-applebees
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #207 on: March 29, 2023, 05:53:41 PM »
Kid Sadly Realizes He's Too Intelligent To Ever Become President One Day
https://babylonbee.com/news/kid-sadly-realizes-hes-too-intelligent-to-ever-become-president-one-day
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #208 on: April 09, 2023, 12:11:17 PM »
Chinese Spy Assigned To Date Eric Swalwell Begs To Be Sent To Labor Camp Instead
https://babylonbee.com/news/chinese-spy-assigned-to-date-eric-swalwell-begs-to-be-sent-to-labor-camp-instead
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #209 on: April 24, 2023, 08:35:08 PM »
Revised Hospital Chart Has Patients Rate Pain On Scale From Zero To Watching 'The View'
https://babylonbee.com/news/revised-hospital-chart-has-patients-rate-pain-on-scale-from-one-to-watching-the-view
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #210 on: April 24, 2023, 08:37:27 PM »
Female Crash Test Dummy Says She Doesn't Know How Car Got Totaled
https://babylonbee.com/news/female-crash-test-dummy-says-she-doesnt-know-how-car-got-totaled
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #211 on: April 24, 2023, 10:13:10 PM »
Quote from: WLJ on April 24, 2023, 08:37:27 PM
Female Crash Test Dummy Says She Doesn't Know How Car Got Totaled
https://babylonbee.com/news/female-crash-test-dummy-says-she-doesnt-know-how-car-got-totaled

What about the other 6,542,709 genders?
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Hawkmoon

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #212 on: April 24, 2023, 11:38:30 PM »
Quote from: Perd Hapley on April 24, 2023, 10:13:10 PM
What about the other 6,542,709 genders?

Are there that many?

We're gonna need bigger flags, and a WHOLE lot of colorfast dye.
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100% Politically Incorrect by Design

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #213 on: April 25, 2023, 08:55:55 AM »
Quote from: Hawkmoon on April 24, 2023, 11:38:30 PM
Are there that many?

We're gonna need bigger flags, and a WHOLE lot of colorfast dye.
It is all the same colors to most people.  Some just see different shades and have silly names for them.  It is all in their head.
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cordex

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #214 on: April 25, 2023, 09:19:48 AM »
Quote from: Hawkmoon on April 24, 2023, 11:38:30 PM
Are there that many?

We're gonna need bigger flags, and a WHOLE lot of colorfast dye.

Quote from: cordex on June 09, 2021, 12:45:32 PM
2022 pride flag:

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RoadKingLarry

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #215 on: April 25, 2023, 11:00:27 AM »
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

Samuel Adams

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #216 on: April 25, 2023, 12:43:01 PM »
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"... and now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine who has as much courage as he has determination.  Ladies and gentlemen, President Putin."
                          - Joe Biden, July 11, 2024

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #217 on: April 27, 2023, 12:54:26 PM »
Buttigieg Announces Closure Of Interstate System For 8-10 Days As Highways Undergo Racial Sensitivity Training
https://babylonbee.com/news/buttigieg-announces-closure-of-interstate-system-for-8-10-days-as-highways-undergo-racial-sensitivity-training
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

K Frame

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #218 on: April 27, 2023, 01:44:44 PM »
Pete the Butt is also working on a plan that would allow Interstate highways to choose their own direction. Previously, under the white cis normal patriarchy, highways with even numbers were forced to flow East-West, and those with odd numbers North-South, with no deviation allowed for the highway's personal preferences.

He's recruiting a team of woke transdirectionists who will berate each highway into picking its correct direction.
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Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #219 on: May 02, 2023, 07:05:28 PM »
A.I. Calculates It Will Be More Efficient To Just Let Humanity Destroy Itself
https://babylonbee.com/news/ai-calculates-it-wil-be-more-efficient-to-just-let-humanity-destroy-itself
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #220 on: May 02, 2023, 07:06:10 PM »
Hollywood Movie Quality Expected To Improve Exponentially As Writers Go On Strike
https://babylonbee.com/news/hollywood-movie-quality-improves-exponentially-amid-writers-strike
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Ben

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #221 on: May 04, 2023, 09:21:45 AM »
How to stop bad guys in a gun free utopia:

https://youtu.be/-DzginiUVUY
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Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #222 on: May 04, 2023, 01:56:10 PM »
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"... and now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine who has as much courage as he has determination.  Ladies and gentlemen, President Putin."
                          - Joe Biden, July 11, 2024

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #223 on: May 05, 2023, 01:43:51 PM »
Quote from: Ben on May 04, 2023, 09:21:45 AM
How to stop bad guys in a gun free utopia:

https://youtu.be/-DzginiUVUY


Wrong.  No guns means no criminals, obviously.
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Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
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Pb

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #224 on: May 08, 2023, 06:15:23 PM »
This one is savage:

God, I Thank You That I Am Not Like Other White Evangelicals - Op-Ed By David French 

https://babylonbee.com/news/god-i-thank-you-that-i-am-not-like-other-white-evangelicals---op-ed-by-david-french



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